Thursday, July 7

what a silly child

There are ten of them, and I'm their nanny. They're running around with underwear on their heads. They scream and fight with one another and always want to be the first one in line to make snowcones, paint faces, and help sweep the floor. I may want to smack them sometimes when they make fun of me, but I secretly enjoy their company. I almost feel as if they are my own little brothers and sisters. There are days I don't want to leave, though. The times when one of them looks up at me with "glitter soup" all down her shirt and stickers fashioned into a princess tiara around her eyebrows and says, "Shelly Blynne, this was a bad idea, huh?" I just laugh and think to my self, What a silly child.

I bet God thinks of me like that.

Like the kids, I get these ideas in my head that are awesome! I just know they'll work. I may not dream of sticker crowns, but I have my own plans for my life. How I'm going to spend my days. Who my friends are going to be forever. Where I'm going to go to school. What I want to be. Where my life is going. Those sort of things. But, like three-year-old Stacia, having a great idea is not enough for me. I have to set it into motion. I have to grab all the glitter without first looking to see if I'd chosen the ugly colors. I have to throw mix in a cup of water without first making sure the bowl is big enough to accommodate such a combination. I slap those stickers to my forehead before I think through that it's going to peel my eyebrows off when I'm done. Then when I'm about 3/4 of the way through, I get overwhelmed and turn to Him and say, "God, this was a bad idea, huh?"

Then I'm sure He looks at me and smiles and says, "What a silly child."

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thought than your thoughts.


...after Stacia realizes that she should've asked for help first, I look down at her and say, "Come on, honey. Let me help you fix it."

I know God does that to me, too. He finishes that thought in Isaiah by saying:
My word that goes out from My mouth,
it will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which i sent it.


Even though I get wet when He washes off the stains and it hurts when He peels off the ugly stickers, I feel better. He fixes me. I'm a mess because I'm just a kid, and I don't wait on His instruction and guidance. But He fixes me. I'm such a silly child.

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